Social Intelligence

Social intelligence is the foundation of your game. You don't have to become a party animal or trendy hipster, but in general you should learn to communicate and vibe with people.
The problem is that many of us are trapped in our own heads due to extended periods of isolation. We work and study alone, get worn out and go home to plug into the television or internet...alone... again! We have to make a conscious effort to be social.
Chilling should be a major priority in your life. Hang out more often with friends. Find places that pique your interest where you can let loose and have a great time. Bars, restaurants, stores, cafes, streets, classes, gyms, clubs, etc. are all excellent places to mingle.
Learn to make friends of strangers and keep expanding your social circle till you are totally at ease in the company of others. Without some degree of social skills, you are pretty much useless!

Some people suffered from social phobia, then they realized some of the mistakes they made that kept them from vibing properly.

1. Talking/moving too fast.
   
2. Not maintaining eye contact.
   
3. Not talking at all, lost in their thoughts and spacing out.
   
4. Nervous fidgeting, closed body language.
   
5. Censoring words, being insincere.
   
6. Getting offended when people poked fun at them.
   
7. Worrying about the impression they are making.
   
8. Over-selling theirselves, trying to be "cool".

All of these things conveyed personal anxiety and neediness

Nobody likes a desperate try-hard, so take another look at the above list and do the complete opposite. Do yourself a favor and RELAX because the world is your living room! You don't have to be a clown or entertainer, but people will enjoy your company when you can make FUN of anything!
The cool part is that once you get a feel for this vibe, you will discover that you really don't need to rely on patterns or routines and will invent new material on the fly.
If your vibe is right, then your game will be tight!

Law of Attraction

While the Law of Attraction is getting quite a bit of publicity these days, the concept has been around for centuries and has been known (and used successfully) by great minds throughout history. According to books like The Secret, there’s evidence that the law of attraction was used by Beethoven, Einstein and even Jesus, but you’ve also used it in your own life whether you’re aware of it or not! This is because the Law of Attraction works whether or not you’re aware of it. The main reason for the current focus on it is that if you’re aware that you're using the Law of Attraction, you can control what you attract into your life.

Basically, the Law of Attraction works like this: you create your own reality. What you focus on, what you emote about, is what you draw into your life. What you believe will happen in your life is what does happen. This isn’t as simple as it seems, however, or everyone would have the lives that they want naturally. For example, people who are in debt and continually tell themselves, “I need more money,” don’t find more money, they continue to “need more money” because that is the reality that they create.

Why It Works
Many people wonder why this works, and there are more than one explanation. The two main schools of thoughts go along these lines:

The Spiritual Explanation:
Many people believe that the Law of Attraction works by aligning God or the Universe with our wishes. We are all made of energy, and our energy operates at different frequencies. We can change our frequency of energy with positive thoughts, especially gratitude for what we already have. By using grateful, positive thoughts and feelings and by focusing on our dreams (rather than our frustrations), we can change the frequency of our energy, and the law of attraction brings positive things (things of that frequency) into our lives. What we attract depends on where and how we focus our attention, but we must believe that it’s already ours, or soon will be.

The Traditionally Scientific Explanation:
If you’re one who needs things to be a little more easy to prove, there is also a different explanation for how the law of attraction works. By focusing on attaining a new reality, and by believing it is possible, we tend to take more risks, notice more opportunities, and open ourselves up to new possibilities. Conversely, when we don’t believe that something is in the realm of possibilities for us, we tend to let opportunities pass by unnoticed. When we believe we don’t deserve good things, we behave in ways that sabotage our chances at happiness. By changing our self talk and feelings about life, we reverse the negative patterns in our lives and create more positive, productive and healthy ones. One good thing leads to another, and the direction of a life can shift from a downward spiral to an upward ascent.

Proof That The Law of Attraction Works
Whatever the underlying reason, reams of anecdotal evidence confirm that the law of attraction works. And, for those science-minded folks out there, research does seem to support the positive effects of the Law of Attraction as well. For example, research on optimism shows that optimists enjoy better health, greater happiness, and more success in life. (The advantage that optimists share is that they focus their thoughts on their successes and mentally minimize their failures. This article has more information on the traits of optimists.) One of the foundations of therapy is that changing your self talk can change your life in a positive direction. And millions of people have found success with positive affirmations.

Phobias

Everyone has at least one phobia, myself included. A phobia is defined as an irrational fear of something- although for a phobic this fear seems very real and very rational. Some phobics can even suffer from panic attacks, which are signified by heavy breathing, profuse sweating, a feeling of dizziness, and sometimes even fainting. Phobias can affect everyday life, and many phobics would rather rearrange their lives than face their fears if given a choice.

Achluophobia - Fear of darkness.
Acrophobia - Fear of heights.
Agliophobia - Fear of pain.
Agoraphobia- Fear of open spaces or crowds.
Aichmophobia - Fear of needles or pointed objects.
Amaxophobia - Fear of riding in a car.
Androphobia - Fear of men.

Anthropophobia - Fear of people or society.
Aphenphosmphobia - Fear of being touched.
Arachnophobia - Fear of spiders.
Arithmophobia - Fear of numbers.
Astraphobia - Fear of thunder and lightening.
Ataxophobia - Fear of disorder or untidiness.
Atelophobia - Fear of imperfection.
Atychiphobia - Fear of failure.
Autophobia - Fear of being alone.
Bacteriophobia - Fear of bacteria

Batrachophobia - Fear of amphibians.
Belonephobia - Fear of pins and needles.
Bibliophobia - Fear of books.
Botanophobia - Fear of plants.
Cacophobia - Fear of ugliness.
Catagelophobia - Fear of being ridiculed.
Catoptrophobia - Fear of mirrors.
Chionophobia - Fear of snow.
Chromophobia - Fear of colors.
Chronomentrophobia - Fear of clocks.
Claustrophobia - Fear of confined spaces.
Coulrophobia - Fear of clowns.
Cyberphobia - Fear of computers.
Cynophobia - Fear of dogs.
Dendrophobia - Fear of trees.
Dentophobia - Fear of dentists.
Domatophobia - Fear of houses.
Dystychiphobia - Fear of accidents.

Ecophobia - Fear of the home.
Elurophobia - Fear of cats.
Entomophobia - Fear of insects.
Ephebiphobia - Fear of teenagers.
Equinophobia - Fear of horses.
Gamophobia - Fear of marriage.
Genuphobia - Fear of knees.
Glossophobia - Fear of speaking in public.
Gynophobia - Fear of women.
Heliophobia - Fear of the sun.
Hemophobia - Fear of blood.
Herpetophobia - Fear of reptiles.
Hydrophobia - Fear of water.
Iatrophobia - Fear of doctors.
Insectophobia - Fear of insects.
Koinoniphobia - Fear of rooms.
Leukophobia - Fear of the color white.
Lilapsophobia - Fear of tornadoes and hurricanes.
Lockiophobia - Fear of childbirth.
Mageirocophobia - Fear of cooking.
Melanophobia - Fear of the color black.
Microphobia - Fear of small things.
Mysophobia - Fear of dirt and germs.
Necrophobia - Fear of death or dead things.
Noctiphobia - Fear of the night.
Nosocomephobia - Fear of hospitals.
Obesophobia - Fear of gaining weight.
Octophobia - Fear of the figure 8.
Ombrophobia - Fear of rain.
Ophidiophobia - Fear of snakes.
Ornithophobia - Fear of birds.
Papyrophobia - Fear of paper.
Pathophobia - Fear of disease.
Pedophobia - Fear of children.
Philophobia - Fear of love.
Phobophobia - Fear of phobias.
Podophobia - Fear of feet.
Porphyrophobia - Fear of the color purple.
Pteridophobia - Fear of ferns.
Pteromerhanophobia - Fear of flying.
Pyrophobia - Fear of fire.
Scolionophobia - Fear of school.
Selenophobia - Fear of the moon.
Sociophobia - Fear of social evaluation.
Somniphobia - Fear of sleep.
Tachophobia - Fear of speed.
Technophobia - Fear of technology.
Tonitrophobia - Fear of thunder.
Trypanophobia - Fear of injections

A MOMENT TO REMEMBER MOVIE (korean movie)

This sappy movie was the one of the most popular chick flicks to come out of Korea in 2004.

The plot involves a love story between two opposites. Soo-Jin, is an annoyingly feminine daddy’s girl. It’s love at first sight when lays her eyes on the ultra macho construction worker Chol-Soo. Chol-Soo is tough and sexy, and just what she needs after her recent break-up with her ex. As chance would have it, Chol Soo is foreman at one of her dad’s building sites.Even though Soo-Jin knows her dad would never approve of the match, love compels her to chase after the manly foreman anyway. She finally gets him after a few very silly and stereotypical courtship scenes. In one scene, Chol-Soo valiantly saves Soo-Jin’s stolen purse from a motorcycle bandit. He then proceeds to drive her home in a very cool beat-up jeep. She acts totally helpless, hanging on for dear life as the dirty jeep speeds along the highway. She dons his welding mask for protection. Beneath the window of the huge iron mask, she’s making a cute doe-eyed expression that seems to say, “I’m a helpless little girl who needs to be saved by a knight in shining armor.” I assume this is where all the teenage girls start sighing, but come on, how corny can you get!In another scene, he’s teaching her how to swing a bat at some kind of baseball driving range. Again she’s completely useless in her secretary skirt and stiletto heels. He has no choice but to come behind her and show her how to swing the bat. He wraps his studly body around her and they zoom in on the grinding bodies. I’m sure hordes of teeny bopper girls swooned over this scene, but all it got from me was a big roll of the eyes. PULEEZE!Even though Mr. Tough Guy insists he doesn’t want to be tied down, Soo-Jin decides that it’s time for them to get married. She stages a surprise dinner with the family because she wants to come out of the closet about who she’s dating. Her dad is furious when he finds out who her boyfriend is and Chol-Soo is put under a severe interrogation. The weak-hearted Soo-Jin can’t handle the situation and faints from extreme stress. Both men soften up and decide to accept each other after they see how vulnerable Soo-Jin is. After the wedding, daddy’s connections help Chol-Soo land a more prestigious job as an architect. Then, tragedy strikes the newlyweds when the 27 year old Soo-Jin gets diagnosed with (GASP!) Alzheimer’s disease! (YEAH, RIGHT!)This is one of those movies that really reinforce male/female roles in Korean society. Men are supposed to be tough and protect their women. (This attitude probably stems from years of war and Confucianism.) Women are meant to act meek, vulnerable and cute. Furthermore, the plot perpetuates an unbelieveable female fantasy that some tough guy would turn out to be so talented and devoted. In real life, manly men are usually just jerks. A Moment to Remember was so over the top, I wanted to turn it off halfway through.

Causes of Stress

Threat
A perceived threat will lead a person to feel stressed. This can include physical threats, social threats, financial threat, and so on. In particular it will be worse when the person feels they have no response that can reduce the threat, as this affects the need for a sense of control.
Generally speaking, any threat to needs is likely to lead to stress being experienced.
Fear
Threat can lead to fear, which again leads to stress. Fear leads to imagined outcomes, which are the real source of stress.
Uncertainty
When we are not certain, we are unable to predict, and hence feel we are not in control, and hence may feel fear or feel threatened by that which is causing the uncertainty.
Cognitive dissonance
When there is a gap between what we do and what we think, then we experience cognitive dissonance, which is felt as stress. Thus, if I think I am a nice person then do something that hurts someone else, I will experience dissonance and stress.
Dissonance also occurs when we cannot meet our commitments. We believe we are honest and committed, but when circumstances prevent us from meeting our promises we are faced with the possibility of being perceived as dishonest or incapable .

Life causes
There are many causes of stress in life including:

-Death: of spouse, family, friend
-Health: injury, illness, pregnancy
-Crime: Sexual molestation, mugging, burglary, pick-pocketed
-Self-abuse: drug abuse, alcoholism, self-harm
-Family change: separation, divorce, new baby, marriage
-Sexual problems: getting partner, with partner
-Argument: with spouse, family, friends, co-workers, boss
-Physical changes: lack of sleep, new work hours
-New location: vacation, moving house
-Money: lack of it, owing it, investing it
-Environment change: in school, job, house, town, jail
-Responsibility increase: new dependent, new job

Other stress indicators at work include:
-Sickness absence
-High staff turnover
-Poor communication between teams
-Bullying
-Lack of feedback on performance
-Value and contribution
-Technological change
-Lack of clarity of roles and responsibilities
-Dissatisfaction with non-monetary benefits
-Working long hours
-Boring and mundane work
-One-off incidents
-Uncomfortable workplace
-Lack of training

Watch out for your own stress, and help others reduce theirs.
If you are using stress to persuade, watch for these symptoms as indication of your success. Beware of over-stressing people and creating a fight-or-Flight reaction.

Break Up!

Break up symptoms:
* Leaving the radio off because every song makes you cry
* Loss of appetite
* Binge eating for comfort
* Calling your ex several times a day
* Text messaging and emailing constantly
* Constantly checking your email and voice mail to see if he/she called
* Not going out because you are afraid to miss a call
* Thinking non-stop about why they REALLY left you
* Feeling massively depressed
* Feeling urges to spy on them
* Endlessly rehearsing what you should have said
* Endlessly rehearsing what you will say if you bump into them.

There is always a time in every break up, whatever the circumstances, that you will yearn for the love you have lost and for a while you may experience some, or all, of these symptoms. But none of these will help you regain that love or to even find closure. These actions are more than likely going to make you feel even worse.Your best bet is to deal with your pain and emotions by speaking and spending time with a friend or family member, who can take your mind off your past relationship. Talking through your relationship will help you find out what made the relationship end. It can also help you gain closure and decide whether or not you do still really want to be with that person. Sometimes you are more upset that they don't love you than the fact that you are not with them. If this is the case then it really is time to move on.


There are some things you may do, however, that can make you feel worse. But there are also a LOT of things you can do to make you feel better.

Mistakes you may make:
* You try to convince them we are the love of their life
* You will apologize profusely for everything
* Promise to change for good this time
* Try to get them to see that it wasn't really your fault
* Even beg with them to take you back

These mistakes you make without thinking about them, as you are too overwhelmed with emotion to think clearly. You are hurting, you want to make your ex feel hurt too and you want them to realise how much they really do love you. But when you think about it these are the exact things that are pushing them further away. If the roles were reversed would these actions make you regain your love for an ex? Probably not.The first step is to straighten yourself out. You need to be thinking straight before you can even begin to move on. You need to regain the confidence in yourselves - you are worth it!If you feel negative then you are going to give off negative feelings and thoughts to everyone you meet. You need to deal with your emotions, stop being needy and start rebuilding your life.

This may sound simple but so many of us know that it is not. Try these few tips to help you regain your confidence and start feeling better.
* Stop feeling guilty
* Forget about blame
* Stop sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself. Get out there and do something you love or take up a new hobby.
* Start forgetting. Get rid of everything that reminds you of your ex. Start your new life afresh. Don't do things you did together. You are your own person now. Do things you want to do.
* Start each day on a happy note. Try reading through some break up quotes each morning when you wake up or just do something that will start your day off with a smile.
* Start thinking positive. This is the start of a new life and it will be better than before.You can be a happy person again. All of us do have this within us!